Deciphering the Chevy Aveo

"Collin" (coliin) 12/02/2013 at 17:55 • Filed to: None

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When I close my eyes and think of the least inspired vehicle imaginable, there is one car and one car only that comes to mind: the Chevy Aveo.

There's just something about that first generation Aveo that makes me think, "Why?"

Why does it look so boring?

Why did GM think America needed another Daewoo?

Why would anybody pay money for one of these?

Why would anyone who owned an Aveo go out in public without a mask on to hide the shame?

Why would anybody buy a new or slightly used Aveo when there are still comparably priced Accords and Camrys that exist as well?

It's a car that makes absolutely no sense.

When I came across the particular Aveo pictured above, I suddenly had a whole host of new questions.

Who puts a body kit on an Aveo?

Who puts any more money than necessary into an Aveo?

Were they somehow stuck with this Aveo and trying their hardest to make it not suck as badly?

Did they think that this somehow made it look cool?

Are F&F fans really this strapped for cash now?

How much horsepower do cloudy headlights add?

I would have found the driver to ask them these questions, but the thing was, I had absolutely no idea what an Aveo driver would look like. I had never met one. Sure, I'd seen plenty on the roads, but they all had a habit of wearing large hats and sunglasses, presumably to hide from the shame.

It was beginning to look like my questions would never be answered, but then it happened. I met a real life, in the flesh, Aveo owner. I didn't know that she was an Aveo owner when I met her, or I would never have asked her to coffee, but at the end of our coffee date, I watched as she walked up to a red Aveo 5 door, unlocked it, and sat down inside.

Against all odds, not only did I now know an Aveo owner, but for some reason, I liked her.

What was wrong with me?

How could I actually like someone who drives an Aveo?

Had my judgment completely failed me?

If I went out in public with her, were people going to think that I was an Aveo owner?

Could I really be compatible with someone who drove a car that thanks its lucky stars every time a smart ForTwo parks nearby so it isn't the worst car on the lot?

It's not shallow to stop seeing a girl because of her car, right?

Despite all of those questions, I decided to see her again. And again. And again. Before I knew it, we were in a relationship and headed to the North Georgia mountains for a hike. In a twist that no one saw coming, I even voluntarily drove her car without insisting on wearing giant sunglasses and a large floppy hat. What can I say? I must be a romantic.

As it turned out, the Chevy Aveo was exactly as terrible as I had imagined. 100 torques are not a lot for city driving, and they are not even close to enough for mountain driving. The interior felt like the materials were sourced from a Latvian gulag, and there was no center armrest.

It did have features though. In fact, there were two of them. It offered the ability for you to remove the stock head unit and replace it with one that comes with a line-in port. It also offered a slot to the left of the steering wheel that was clearly designed with a storage purpose in mind. Maybe it holds the driver's giant sunglasses?

In short, it was a car that probably felt used when it came off the line and was clearly better suited for countries where motorcycles are used to transport whole families.

As I was trying to remember what it was like to drive on the highway without cruise control, the Aveo's owner informed me that she hadn't always had this car. In fact, her previous car had been a much nicer car. The Aveo owner's first car was actually a Volvo S80.

WHAT?!?!

A Volvo S80?

How do you go from a Volvo S80 to a Chevy Aveo?

Why would you do that?

Did I miss the apocalypse?

Is this all Obama's fault?

Turns out, the reason that she no longer drove the Volvo was that she had totaled it. After the wreck, her dad took the insurance money and bought her the Aveo, most likely making money off of the deal.

That's when it hit me: Her dad was punishing her for wrecking the Volvo. She had received a nice car as a hand-me-down, and when she couldn't take care of it, her dad punished her for her misdeed.

Suddenly, my world was changed. What had once been darkness was now flooded in light. The reason that people drive the Aveo is that they're being punished. Maybe they wrecked an S80. Maybe they got a DUI. Maybe they put eyelashes on a New Beetle. Whatever it was that they did, they now must suffer in automotive purgatory until they have done satisfactory penance for their wrongdoing.

It's not that people somehow get high enough to think the Aveo is a good car. It's not that anyone actually wants an Aveo. It's not like someone looks at a gently used Camry and thinks, "This is great, but an Aveo would be better." Every driver that you see on the road in an Aveo is being punished for committing some sort of automotive sin.

So wash off that salt. Clean out that clutter. Let it warm up a little before you drive it. Signal your turns. Don't hoon in inappropriate places. Only break the speed limit where you won't get caught. Short shift in residential areas. Follow at a safe distance. Otherwise, if you aren't careful, you may end up doing your own penance in a Chevy Aveo.

offroadkarter > Collin 12/02/2013 at 17:58

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This is the longest post about a chevy aveo in the history of oppositelock

exizeo - still loving fourza > Collin 12/02/2013 at 18:14

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I chuckled at the ending.

Nice story. Take my star...recommendation...whatever it's called.

Still, I hated both the Cobalt and the Aveo. And the Pontiac G3.

Collin > offroadkarter 12/02/2013 at 18:14

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Something tells me that the bar was never set particularly high...

Collin > exizeo - still loving fourza 12/02/2013 at 18:16

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Haha thanks.

The G3 actually deserves even more scorn than the Aveo because the Aveo never pretended to be anything other than a badge engineered Daewoo. The Pontiac G3, however, was a Pontiac. It was supposed to be sporty and fun to drive...and yet it was still just a badge engineered Daewoo.

AMC/Renauledge > Collin 12/02/2013 at 18:23

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The Aveo actually gave GM a business case to start caring about the car that would replace the Cavalier, and put a little money into not making it a shitbox.

You see, the Cavalier was in its 10th season on the market when the Giugiaro-designed Aveo rolled into America. At that point, Chevy had been stripping them out and selling "SV" or "Special Value" models for under $10k since the Metro bit the dust in 2000. They knew the Cobalt needed to be a better car, which meant they couldn't cheapen out on it.

So they brought in the Aveo to take up the cheap end of the market with a smaller car they could make money on at the $10k mark.

Of course, they still cheapened out on the Cobalt. But the Cobalt really was a quantum leap ahead of the Cavalier. Especially the turbo SS models. And the Aveo really wasn't worse than the Hyundai Accent or Kia Rio of 2004, either.

By 2008, the Aveo was out-of-date, but GM was planning two cars to replace it - the Spark on the low end and the Sonic on the upper end. This meant that the Cobalt-replacing Cruze could push even further upmarket to get the nicer bits that'd make it compete favorably with the Civic, Corolla, Sentra, et al, while the Sonic became a good car in its own right.

Stef Schrader > Collin 12/02/2013 at 18:29

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Ha! Punishment cars are rough. My first car ('00 Grand Am, bought new) got totalled and I ended up with an Altima.

It was beige. It was too big. It was floaty. It ate head gaskets. I wanted to set it on fire.

Collin > Stef Schrader 12/02/2013 at 18:51

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Did you set it on fire?

offroadkarter > Collin 12/02/2013 at 19:32

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thats fitting for the development of this car to

The All New Chevrolet Aveo: We really didn't set the bar high

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Collin 12/02/2013 at 21:03

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This is easily the best thing I've read all day. I loved it.

I ask myself pretty much those exact questions whenever I see an Aveo. Luckily I've never been with a girl that drove anything worse than a Dodge Stratus...although that was pretty bad too.

Stef Schrader > Collin 12/03/2013 at 01:52

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Sadly, no. It probably lives on in a junkyard somewhere. No way was it worth more than a pristine rolling shell at that point. That engine was a lemon.

Collin > Stef Schrader 12/03/2013 at 10:47

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You mean it's not normal to go through head gaskets like they're candy?

Hugh Jazz Can no longer Kinja > Collin 12/04/2013 at 19:52

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Mad JDM bumper, yo.

The Transporter > Collin 12/04/2013 at 20:30

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At the rental car agency where I work we would purposely give Aveos to customers who had a track record of ruining our cars or were rude to us.

zzoldan > Collin 12/04/2013 at 21:25

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Being stuck driving an Aveo for the rest of my life? Sounds like purgatory to me...

Great read!

Someone Else's Projects > Collin 12/04/2013 at 22:31

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Is "lease inspiring" a typo or a brilliant pun?

Collin > Someone Else's Projects 12/04/2013 at 22:35

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As much as I love puns (much to my girlfriend's chagrin), I must admit that it's actually a typo.

Now a fixed typo.

GBond > Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment 12/04/2013 at 22:42

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All the women I've ever dated have had absolutely terrible cars, the best was a Jetta.

RW53104 > Collin 12/04/2013 at 23:09

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I can only see this as a double-chin.

RW53104 > Collin 12/04/2013 at 23:12

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That's a pretty groundbreaking theory, and I will probably apply that to everyone I meet who drives one.

I also figured that most people drove them because they had some sort of repulsion to used cars, and the Aveo was the only cheap new option from 'Murica.

Jay Lauer > Collin 12/04/2013 at 23:15

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Excellent article. Really good stuff.

I actually knew someone who owned an Aveo, and then they bought a second one.

That is all.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > GBond 12/04/2013 at 23:36

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oh god I know the feeling. Let's see...one had a Saturn...actually two had a Saturn. Terrible. One had a stick Jeep Wrangler, one had a previous-gen Versa, now has a Mk. 7 Jetta. One had a New Beetle...might have been the best one honestly because it was always clean, always smelled good, and (somehow) never broke while we were in it ever. Although it was the only car I've ever driven that I could turn the front wheels 90 degrees and floor in the winter and still not spin. I was truly, truly stunned by that car's lack of power.

LFonto > Collin 12/05/2013 at 00:00

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I had an Aveo, and let me tell you, that car was not a bad handler at all. Hit the apex, mash the accelerator to the ground, and let that front right wheel whip you around the corner. And mine wasn't even modified. There was one morning on the 210 6:00a.m., a field of BMWs on the freeway, I slammed the accelerator, flew by all of them, hit 110mph, and only one BMW M3 finally caught up to my Aveo. It was not a bad car at all. You just have to be a damn good driver, smooth, steady and alert.

BeetleCamry > Collin 12/05/2013 at 00:05

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Sunroof?!?! What kind of decadence is this?

GBond > Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment 12/05/2013 at 00:07

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Three girls I dated consecutively had hatchback Chevy Corsas, (one was manual, I liked her better). After that came a Jetta, another Corsa and then another Jetta. Current GF has an old Sentra and a Corolla with a busted A/C so I'm pretty sure none of them frequent here. From yours at least the manual Wrangler is a bit Jalop-y.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > GBond 12/05/2013 at 00:13

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Dear god man...I'm so sorry. That sounds terrible. Manual definitely adds about...2.7 to the international 10 point scale if she's already above a 6.1. In my research. There was also a girl who only drives manuals, she's very cool. Maybe messed up that one. Although her current car is a Cube...but I actually like those. The Jeep is definitely semi-Jalop...although she can't drive stick very well. I cringed whenever she drove anywhere. She shifted at like, I swear to god, 900 RPM. There must be so much carbon buildup in that engine. So much throttle, so little RPM. We'd be in like 4th gear at 25 mph.

cluelessk > exizeo - still loving fourza 12/05/2013 at 00:37

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You must not be familiar with the Cobalt SS.

Considered on of the best and fastest fwd production cars in the world.

Also beats many much more expensive and awd cars around VIR.

DayWooTang > Collin 12/05/2013 at 00:45

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Bravo!

Bytemite > BeetleCamry 12/05/2013 at 02:55

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What if..it's a shade with no sunroof on it!?

abaker1012 > Collin 12/05/2013 at 02:57

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This is only the second aveo ive ever seen with a bodykit, the first being someone from my high school near Birmingham, AL

p71donutmobile > Collin 12/05/2013 at 09:48

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LOL my wife drove an Aveo when we met I had my Riviera and My Crown Vic. The Aveo served its purposes by being an economical car with under 50,000 miles for under 5k because any camry or accord for that price has way to many miles, Anyway I'm getting side tracked I hated it then it was a plastic hell with an fm radio(woohoo).

So naturally when i got tired of listening to duke ellington and Aerosmith on cassette and bad gasmilage out of my 19foot fwd monster I traded the buick for a 2007 suzuki reno which was still in warranty. It was a cute little hatch, all wheel discs and it seemed a reasonable answer to minimum wage and rising gas prices. any way I showed my soon to be wife and we noticed THE DASHBOARD WAS EXATLY THE SAME AS HER AVEO!.... I had bought a daewoo. IT looked better than the aveo on paper aux input keyless entry disc brakes and a sunroof but the aveo was a better driver, it was stiff(the suzuki had way too much body roll). well we got married sold the aveo and then the only thing that worked by then was the sunroof. she hated it (but she loved her Aveo) so we compromised and sold it right back to the dealer and bought a 1984 dodge rampage and made $1000!

well that was a rant!

truebeliever > Collin 12/05/2013 at 10:39

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they're not so bad...What's bad is that their were American buyers who bought this car and had no idea it was designed and built in Korea not Michigan... "Merica, baby!!! Sir, that car is a Daewoo...Dafuq is that??? Get what you pay for but it runs and you could get a loaded one for like 14 grand.

50ford500 > Collin 12/05/2013 at 12:52

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So the Aveo is a sort of automotive Purgatory then?

exizeo - still loving fourza > cluelessk 12/05/2013 at 16:02

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I said Cobalt, not Cobalt SS. That's like saying the 3GT is amazing because it's loosely related to the M3.

AWD? Pretty sure it can't beat the Audi R8, Porsche 991 Turbo S, R35 GTR, or Gallardo...

cluelessk > exizeo - still loving fourza 12/05/2013 at 16:13

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Don't be an idiot. Comparing a Cobalt to supercars.

I was talking Evo's, STi's and Lexus ISF.

exizeo - still loving fourza > cluelessk 12/05/2013 at 16:18

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'much more expensive'

More expensive by 10k is not 'much more expensive.' A used SS where I live fetches >15k. A used Evo 9, on the other hand, is about 25k. A used STi is 23-24k. The IS F isn't AWD last I checked.

Saying 10k is 'much more expensive' is like saying a used E46 is a very expensive car.

cluelessk > exizeo - still loving fourza 12/05/2013 at 16:30

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"Also beats many much more expensive and awd cars around VIR."

Reading helps...

I was talking new. Cobalt $22,000, Evo MR $38,290, STi $34,995.

At least 12 grand more and awd.

exizeo - still loving fourza > cluelessk 12/05/2013 at 16:32

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much more expensive AND AWD. Implying that the cars are both expensive and AWD.

cluelessk > exizeo - still loving fourza 12/05/2013 at 16:37

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So now that I proved you wrong you need to pick apart the way I wrote a sentence?

It can also mean there were expensive cars and other awd cars that are also expensive.

exizeo - still loving fourza > cluelessk 12/05/2013 at 16:52

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Well I took it as both AWD and expensive. Don't be so fucking confusing.

Regardless, 12k isn't that much. Is an E46 an expensive car? Still not 'much more expensive.'

cluelessk > exizeo - still loving fourza 12/05/2013 at 17:13

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12 grand is over half the price of the Cobalt. For some it's a lot of money.

exizeo - still loving fourza > cluelessk 12/05/2013 at 17:34

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I don't know, depends on price range, really. Some people spend over twice a car's worth on mods.

But let's not forget I said Cobalt, not Cobalt SS...I meant this shitbox.

davlac89 > Collin 12/05/2013 at 17:55

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4 years ago I bought one new....yeah I know.....try not to throw me rocks. I had totalled my first car and my dad (only had new cars but his first all his life) was pushing me toward the chevy dealership ( he had a colbalt...). Now 4 years later, I realized that even though I love my dad, he didn't new shit about cars. After 2 weeks without wheels I was fed up not having a car and just went to get one because it was nearly the only thing my old man approved to come see with me. I signed it, regretted it a minute after. So I guess having an Aveo was the way I got punished by not standing for myself and go see cars by myself that I was interested in. 2 years ago I finally did that, and went to get my dream car, a '68 Chevelle SS 4-spd 396. My old man didn't approved at all, but who cares, i knew what i was doing. So finally even though i regret that Aveo, its still runs great today (i'm crossing my fingers) after 50 000km , i kind of grew fond of it and i'm not thinking about it anymore because i got THE car that i've always wanted. So i guess the article pretty much sums up my story.

Cheers

davlac89 > davlac89 12/05/2013 at 18:14

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p71donutmobile > p71donutmobile 12/06/2013 at 10:35

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5k 5g $5000... oops!

thatmacfast > Collin 12/06/2013 at 15:47

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You may be onto something. Years ago my girlfriend was mad and kicked a huge dent in the door of my '95 SS Impala. She soon realized the error of her ways and agreed to pay for the repair, in this case a new door skin and paint. I drop the car at the dealer and they tell me a rental car is included in the repair. When I get to the rental car place they say it has to be a Chevy per their agreement with the dealer. So they say, "you can have any Chevy here." There was exactly one: bright yellow Aveo. I'm 6'3 with shoes on and weigh 220. My SS turned to a lemon, literally. Had that thing for 2 weeks. Only kind thing I can say is $10 of gas lasted several days, and I was driving that thing. After reading your post I got to thinking, did I do what my GF was mad about? Yep. Punishment dude, spot on. Great post about a silly car that I believe has been discontinued, may it rest in (bright yellow) piss.

Collin > davlac89 12/07/2013 at 19:46

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I can only hope and pray that my girlfriend's next car is a '68 Chevelle SS. Great buy, man.

IDRIVENEON > Collin 12/10/2013 at 09:08

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I had a buddy who bought one new to drive across the country with, and then beat the fuck out of it daily after that. He traded it in after 50K miles. But, dark window tint was needed for him to drive it.

Silent Bob > Collin 03/21/2017 at 13:48

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You talk about Latvia like it is a shit hole but boy, it is alot better than America.

And there were no gulag camps in Latvia.

4 cam torino > Collin 03/23/2017 at 14:49

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While car shopping recently I came across many cars that I thought, why would anyone buy this over so many better options for the same price. How do some of these cars hold any value at all? Mostly Aveos, old Hyundais and old Kias. Thank you for showing me the light with this article.